Dyscalculia and the Imaginative Mind

I’ve always hated math. It’s not that I’m “just bad at math” – I straight up don’t understand it! No matter how many times I go through calculations or study the formulas, nothing about it makes sense to me. Nothing clicks in place. But it’s not just math that I struggle with. There are other little issues I have too – I have difficulty reading analog clocks, I’m always highly anxious about being late, I have no concept of distance and measurement and I have to hold up my index and thumb on each hand to see which one forms the “L” so I know which is left and which is right. This is how it has always been with me. It’s just a part of my reality.

When I was a little girl it was chalked up to the age-old “she’s just bad at math” and “she just has to study harder”. But I did study hard. I even had tutoring sessions. Nothing worked. Then one day, when I was in 7^th grade, I went to up my math teacher’s desk to get help figuring out a problem. She looked it over and a scowl formed on her face. This was followed by her hastily correcting my work before shoving it back in my hands before loudly berating me in front of the class for being “stupid” and needing to “get my head out of the clouds.”

I went numb. My head lowered while my face burnt with humiliation. I managed to trudge back to my desk but I couldn’t bring myself to lift my head again. The damage had been done. If a teacher said I was stupid, then I assumed that is just what I was. There was no reason for me to try ever again. It didn’t matter – I was just stupid and nothing could change that. From that day forward I didn’t even bother to apply myself with math because it was clear to me at the time that I was a lost cause.

Later, well after I managed to graduate from college, I learned about dyscalculia and it changed my entire perspective. Much like how dyslexia is with letters and words, dyscalculia is a learning disability which effects a person’s ability to comprehend numbers. Every single bullet point of the symptoms matched me to the core. When faced with this revelation, I burst into tears and felt a wave of relief crash over me. I wasn’t stupid. I wasn’t a lost cause. My mind just worked differently.

It’s estimated that between 3-6% of the population is affected by dyscalculia and yet it is still under-diagnosed and not well understood even by educators, who are still only now just learning about this disability. The other fascinating thing I learned about it was that many dyscalculic people score high when tested on language and reading, and tend to be highly creative. So while dyscalculia may have hindered me in mathematics, it allowed me to fully embrace this other wonderful part of my brain. This thing, which I had always viewed as a weakness, had contributed to one of my greatest strengths – my imagination and love for literature. And it is those strengths that have helped me find success and happiness in my life. So if being bad at math is the price for that – I’ll take it!

The struggle to deal with feeling of inadequacies can be suffocating at time, but it’s vital to look beyond perceived shortcomings, be it in ourselves or others, and learn to focus on our talents. I’ve come to accept that I can’t be good at everything and that’s okay! All any of us can do is to try our best and love all the parts of ourselves that make us the people who we are.

Top 5 Favorite Early Childhood Books

Stories are such a huge part of childhood. Certain ones just connect with us and stay with us well into adulthood. These are the stories we hand down to the next generation. These are the stories that still light up our eyes when we think back on how they made us feel. So here is a list of my five favorites from my early childhood that have a special place in my heart.

Top 5 Favorite Early Childhood Books

Image courtesy of GoodReads.com

1.  The Serendipity Books by Stephen Cosgrove

The Serendipity Books were a series of whimsical stand-alone stories that carried a poignant message at the end of each little paperback book. They were morality lessons told to us by fantastical and adorable creatures, many of whom had several of their own books in the series. The beautiful illustrations by Robin James helped stir the imagination and complement the gentle tales. I was absolutely in love with them as a child, with Buttermilk (picture above) being my favorite. 

2. The Whisper the Winged Unicorn Series 

Written by a number of different authors, this series featured the title character of Whisper, a winged unicorn living in an enchanted land. Much like the Serendipity books, it was a stand-alone series that followed Whisper's adventures with her friends as they all learned lessons. They were charming and heart-warming little stories, and really... what little girl could resist a rainbow-maned unicorn? ...Okay, okay - I STILL can't resist rainbow-maned unicorns.

3.  The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein

I'm sure this is a favorite on everyone's list, but what can I say? It's a classic for a reason. My mother used to read this to me and my brother when we were little. The stark and simple illustrations do such an effective job at evoking the book's core theme of friendship and loneliness. This is still a household favorite and one we all take turns reading to my two little nephews. 

4.  Jellybeans for Breakfast by Miriam Young

I remember being drawn to this one's bright yellow cover with two smiling girls. Jellybeans for breakfast? Sign me up! This early reader story was a prose about one nameless girl trying to convince her neighbor to come over by telling her about all the fantastical adventures they will have together. It was a great book that captured childhood whimsy and wishes. And a great gift to give a best friend.

5.  The Chick and the Duckling by Mirra Ginsburg

This was another book my mom used to read to me as a young child. It tells the story of a little chick who tries to do everything his bigger ducking friend does, with the line "Me too!" said the Chick echoing throughout the story. "Me too, said the Chick" became a common phrase my mom would use every time I wanted follow or imitate my older brother. She still teases me with it to this day.