Dyscalculia and the Imaginative Mind

I’ve always hated math. It’s not that I’m “just bad at math” – I straight up don’t understand it! No matter how many times I go through calculations or study the formulas, nothing about it makes sense to me. Nothing clicks in place. But it’s not just math that I struggle with. There are other little issues I have too – I have difficulty reading analog clocks, I’m always highly anxious about being late, I have no concept of distance and measurement and I have to hold up my index and thumb on each hand to see which one forms the “L” so I know which is left and which is right. This is how it has always been with me. It’s just a part of my reality.

When I was a little girl it was chalked up to the age-old “she’s just bad at math” and “she just has to study harder”. But I did study hard. I even had tutoring sessions. Nothing worked. Then one day, when I was in 7^th grade, I went to up my math teacher’s desk to get help figuring out a problem. She looked it over and a scowl formed on her face. This was followed by her hastily correcting my work before shoving it back in my hands before loudly berating me in front of the class for being “stupid” and needing to “get my head out of the clouds.”

I went numb. My head lowered while my face burnt with humiliation. I managed to trudge back to my desk but I couldn’t bring myself to lift my head again. The damage had been done. If a teacher said I was stupid, then I assumed that is just what I was. There was no reason for me to try ever again. It didn’t matter – I was just stupid and nothing could change that. From that day forward I didn’t even bother to apply myself with math because it was clear to me at the time that I was a lost cause.

Later, well after I managed to graduate from college, I learned about dyscalculia and it changed my entire perspective. Much like how dyslexia is with letters and words, dyscalculia is a learning disability which effects a person’s ability to comprehend numbers. Every single bullet point of the symptoms matched me to the core. When faced with this revelation, I burst into tears and felt a wave of relief crash over me. I wasn’t stupid. I wasn’t a lost cause. My mind just worked differently.

It’s estimated that between 3-6% of the population is affected by dyscalculia and yet it is still under-diagnosed and not well understood even by educators, who are still only now just learning about this disability. The other fascinating thing I learned about it was that many dyscalculic people score high when tested on language and reading, and tend to be highly creative. So while dyscalculia may have hindered me in mathematics, it allowed me to fully embrace this other wonderful part of my brain. This thing, which I had always viewed as a weakness, had contributed to one of my greatest strengths – my imagination and love for literature. And it is those strengths that have helped me find success and happiness in my life. So if being bad at math is the price for that – I’ll take it!

The struggle to deal with feeling of inadequacies can be suffocating at time, but it’s vital to look beyond perceived shortcomings, be it in ourselves or others, and learn to focus on our talents. I’ve come to accept that I can’t be good at everything and that’s okay! All any of us can do is to try our best and love all the parts of ourselves that make us the people who we are.

Top 5 Favorite Early Childhood Books

Stories are such a huge part of childhood. Certain ones just connect with us and stay with us well into adulthood. These are the stories we hand down to the next generation. These are the stories that still light up our eyes when we think back on how they made us feel. So here is a list of my five favorites from my early childhood that have a special place in my heart.

Top 5 Favorite Early Childhood Books

Image courtesy of GoodReads.com

1.  The Serendipity Books by Stephen Cosgrove

The Serendipity Books were a series of whimsical stand-alone stories that carried a poignant message at the end of each little paperback book. They were morality lessons told to us by fantastical and adorable creatures, many of whom had several of their own books in the series. The beautiful illustrations by Robin James helped stir the imagination and complement the gentle tales. I was absolutely in love with them as a child, with Buttermilk (picture above) being my favorite. 

2. The Whisper the Winged Unicorn Series 

Written by a number of different authors, this series featured the title character of Whisper, a winged unicorn living in an enchanted land. Much like the Serendipity books, it was a stand-alone series that followed Whisper's adventures with her friends as they all learned lessons. They were charming and heart-warming little stories, and really... what little girl could resist a rainbow-maned unicorn? ...Okay, okay - I STILL can't resist rainbow-maned unicorns.

3.  The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein

I'm sure this is a favorite on everyone's list, but what can I say? It's a classic for a reason. My mother used to read this to me and my brother when we were little. The stark and simple illustrations do such an effective job at evoking the book's core theme of friendship and loneliness. This is still a household favorite and one we all take turns reading to my two little nephews. 

4.  Jellybeans for Breakfast by Miriam Young

I remember being drawn to this one's bright yellow cover with two smiling girls. Jellybeans for breakfast? Sign me up! This early reader story was a prose about one nameless girl trying to convince her neighbor to come over by telling her about all the fantastical adventures they will have together. It was a great book that captured childhood whimsy and wishes. And a great gift to give a best friend.

5.  The Chick and the Duckling by Mirra Ginsburg

This was another book my mom used to read to me as a young child. It tells the story of a little chick who tries to do everything his bigger ducking friend does, with the line "Me too!" said the Chick echoing throughout the story. "Me too, said the Chick" became a common phrase my mom would use every time I wanted follow or imitate my older brother. She still teases me with it to this day.

Spring Pick 2015

Now that spring is officially over, it's time for me to share my favorite book I read through the spring season. So without further ado, my spring pick...

Spring Pick 2015

The Walls Around Us by Nova Ren Suma

YA Thriller

 

The Summary

On the outside, there's Violet, an eighteen-year-old dancer days away from the life of her dreams when something threatens to expose the shocking truth of her achievement.

On the inside, within the walls of the Aurora Hills juvenile detention center, there's Amber, locked up for so long she can't imagine freedom.

Tying their two worlds together is Orianna, who holds the key to unlocking all the girls' darkest mysteries…

What really happened on the night Orianna stepped between Violet and her tormentors? What really happened on two strange nights at Aurora Hills? Will Amber and Violet and Orianna ever get the justice they deserve—in this life or in another one?

In prose that sings from line to line, Nova Ren Suma tells a supernatural tale of guilt and of innocence, and of what happens when one is mistaken for the other.

– Blurb from Goodreads

The Characters

While their is a diverse cast of characters, the main story focuses on three specific characters - Violet, Amber and Orianna. Each of these three girls is complex, interesting and so very realistic.

Having read a previous book by this author (Imaginary Girls), I will say that Ms. Suma has a gift at getting into her character's heads and making the most raw portraits of humanity. There is something so utterly visceral and sincere about how she crafts her characters that it's easy to get swept up into their heads and the story, in general.

Without giving too much away about these three girls with their intertwined lives, I will say this - they each feel unique unto themselves. You can easily find bits of people whom you know in real life in them. And the best part is they are so beautifully flawed. None of them is perfect by any means, not even seemingly pristine Orianna who is a character I could see as falling into the realm of saccharine with a less skilled author at the helm. Lucky for us, Suma has a strong grasp of character development and human understanding that allows her to not fall into overused tropes or stereotypes.

The Setting

This is a modern day story which primarily takes place at the fictional Aurora Hills juvenile detention center set in the northeast of the United States. The story shifts between the current time and flashbacks that may feel jarring at first, but once you settle into the tone and pace, you can easily follow the slips in and out of conscious.

Overall Opinion

The action of the story is diluted through a lot of info dumping, but it works. In fact this is one of the few stories that I have seen it succeed. There are a lot of shifts in narrative and time via flashbacks and flash-forwards. That's okay - it's supposed to be a bit confusing, a bit ethereal. All will be revealed at the end and what a brilliant reveal it is.

The tone is foreboding and almost dreamy with a lingering sense of dread weighing through the murk. Atmospheric and psychological, it had be hooked from start to end. This is masterful writing and I highly recommend it to anyone interested in reading something a little different.

Top 5 Favorite Authors

Like every writer, I am first and foremost a reader. There have been so many stories, characters and authors who have shaped my own writing. But there are just some authors who I find myself returning to time and time again. Here is a list of my five favorite authors and what it is about their works that keep me coming back for more. Enjoy!

Top 5 Favorite Authors

 

1.  Lloyd Alexander

It’s no great secret that I am an absolute fangirl when it comes to Lloyd Alexander. He is the first author that truly touched my heart and made me love the written word. There is a pure classic quality to his stories that make them feel timeless and familiar. His works are a perfect example of middle grade high fantasy and I’m not sure we’ll ever meet his like again. When I was a young woman struggling to become a writer myself, I would write to him and tell him how much of an inspiration he was to me. He, in turn, always replied without fail and encouraged me to keep following my dreams. His words both in stories and in letters continue to guide me.

2. Peter Beagle

Like most children of the 80’s, I discovered his famed story The Last Unicorn after watching the animated movie version. The movie stole my heart and the book sang to my soul. I was immediately enchanted by his words. Everything about them evoked such a sense of utter sincerity.  Having seen him several times now in person, he is also fascinating to listen to and very kind to his fans. There’s a spark of magic in that man, I swear.

3. Holly Black

I first was introduced to Holly Black’s writing with her Spiderwick Chronicles and have been following her career ever since. I think what I love most about her writing is that she does such an amazing job with integrating fey lore into modern settings. She clearly gets the fey. She has such an obvious appreciation of the lore and pays it full respect. Her characters are always complex and believable in spite of whatever bizarre circumstances they may find themselves in.

4. Jessica Day George

Princess stories have a close place in my heart, so it was only a matter of time before I discovered the works of Jessica Day George. There is no edgy guile to her stories that has started to saturate the market. She simply takes classic elements, tells straight forward stories and still manages to make them all her own. Her characters and their stories are effervescent, innocent and pure fun. She truly has a gift with capturing the joy and magic of childhood, for young and old readers alike.

5. Neil Gaiman

I’m not sure I can say much about Neil Gaiman that hasn’t already been said – the guy oozes imagination from his every pore. He does such a great job at world building and crafting beautiful stories. When I read his works, I really do feel transported to his worlds. He’s another one who really understands fey lore and how to utilize magic in his settings. A master wordsmith and an imagineer to the core, Neil Gaiman is an author’s author.

Winter Pick 2015

I am starting a new feature on this blog called “Seasonal Picks”. At the end of each season, I’ll pick my favorite book among the books I read during that time and review it. So without further ado… I give you my Winter Pick…

Winter Pick 2015

The Darkest Park of the Forest by Holly Black

YA Fantasy

 

The Summary

Children can have a cruel, absolute sense of justice. Children can kill a monster and feel quite proud of themselves. A girl can look at her brother and believe they’re destined to be a knight and a bard who battle evil. She can believe she’s found the thing she’s been made for.

Hazel lives with her brother, Ben, in the strange town of Fairfold where humans and fae exist side by side. The faeries’ seemingly harmless magic attracts tourists, but Hazel knows how dangerous they can be, and she knows how to stop them. Or she did, once.

At the center of it all, there is a glass coffin in the woods. It rests right on the ground and in it sleeps a boy with horns on his head and ears as pointed as knives. Hazel and Ben were both in love with him as children. The boy has slept there for generations, never waking.

Until one day, he does…

As the world turns upside down, Hazel tries to remember her years pretending to be a knight. But swept up in new love, shifting loyalties, and the fresh sting of betrayal, will it be enough?

– Blurb from Goodreads

The Characters

One of the biggest things I need to fall in love with any story is to connect to the characters. There have been numerous books where the setting and plot have been compelling, but I ultimately didn’t like it because the characters were either unlikeable or unrelatable. Holly Black is wonderful at crafting very believable characters and this work is no different.

Hazel, Ben and the other character feel and sound like contemporary teenagers. Given some of their extraordinary talents (in the case of Ben and Jack) and the fantastical atmosphere, building strong characters may seem like a feat. But Black pulls it off with her usual grace and style.

As the central character, Hazel was compelling and sympathetic in her yearnings. She is flawed, complex and totally believable. I think it would be easy for any reader to see a bit of themselves reflected in her because of how utterly human she is – an aspect which is wonderful when showcased alongside the other fey characters we encounter through the story.

And speaking of the fey, Black gets major props for crafting the fey characters to be so close to the heart of faerie folklore. One thing I’ve said in the past and will say again is that Holly Black gets the fey. She understand the mercurial and capricious nature and it is evoked from every word on the page. As huge fan of faerie lore, I appreciate this very much.

The Setting

The fairy-tale-in-a-modern-day setting is rather popular in media these days. As such, it’s hard to stand out while still feeling fresh but Black does it. The story takes place in a contemporary suburban American town on the border of a faerie forest. It never once comes off as hokey or contrived – the town of Fairfold feels exactly how a town in any fairy tale would feel if set in the modern day. From the interaction from the town folk to the tourists, the way the characters interact with their environment rings true. I’ve never seen the fairy tale in modern times theme pulled off as well as I did in this story.

Overall Opinion

From a compelling setting to gripping characters, there is a sincerity in Black’s stories that makes her writing seem almost effortless. This is a beautiful modern day fairy story that pulled at my heart. I also appreciate the presence of gay characters in a YA novel that were written seamlessly and without any sense of the author trying to make a statement. I wish we could see more diverse characters like Ben in children’s literature. His sexual identity is a part of him without being the only defining aspect of his personality and I applaud Black for the way she handled him.

Overall this is a very well-written story which easily sweeps its reader into Hazel’s world. I highly recommend this for anyone who enjoys fantasy or faerie lore.

 

About Ashwood

For those who want to know a little bit more about what to expect from Book 1 of "The Ashwood Trilogy", here's a quick blurb for you...

 

"When sixteen-year-old Willow goes urban exploring in an abandoned asylum she expects the dark halls and creepy atmosphere. But she doesn’t expect it to follow her home. After the trip, Willow becomes haunted by nightmares in which she never left Ashwood Asylum. Nightmares where she is pursued by grotesque, mind-infesting horrors called the mora who feed off the fear of mortals. Unfortunately for squeamish Willow, they are hungry. And she is their perfect meal.

Upon waking, Willow recalls only fleeting memories of dead butterflies, hollow eyes and discordant whispers. But soon the boundary between dreams and reality disintegrates, trapping Willow in a living nightmare. Can she escape before she becomes Ashwood’s next permanent resident?"

Ashwood is my debut YA horror novel which delves into the world of Slavic folklore and tackles themes regarding fear, loneliness and the struggle to overcome both. It is tentatively scheduled for publication on Sept. 4th, 2015.

 

 

 

Big Announcement: 3-Book Deal with Distinguished Press

It is with great joy that I announce my 3-book deal with indie publisher Distinguished Press for my YA Horror series, "The Ashwood Trilogy".

The staff at DP are an amazing group of people and I am thrilled to be working with them. This is a dream come true made possible through Brenda Drake's #PitMad event on twitter. Thank you, Brenda and thank you, Distinguished Press!

The first book in the trilogy, Ashwood, is tentatively scheduled to be released September 4th, 2015.  I am overjoyed with this chance to share this story with the world and can't wait to tell you more about it in the months to come. More updates will follow.